THE GAMESMASTER

INT. VILLA - GAME ROOM
GAMESMASTER [Neil Ross or Pat Fraley?]
Checkmate. I'm bored. I want to play a new game, Coco, a game where real people fight for their lives. A game where I can play but can't get hurt. Let's play my new game, Coco. What do you think?
COCO
Boring.
GAMESMASTER
It will be fun, Coco! Just wait!
EXT. HIGH RISE - DAY
GAMESMASTER (V.O.)
First, we have catch them like butterflies, when they think they are safe.
INT. HIGH RISE - PARKING GARAGE
GAMESMASTER (CONT., V.O.)
This is Flint, second in command of the G. I. Joe Team.
INT. HIGH RISE - LOBBY
GAMESMASTER (CONT., V.O.)
He is returning home from a mission. He suspects nothing.
INT. HIGH RISE - ELEVATOR
EXT. HIGH-RISE - DAY
INT. CLOTHING STORE
GAMESMASTER (V.O.)
This is Lady Jaye. Clothes are like candy to her. I know just what dress she will pick, Coco.
GAMESMASTER (V.O.)
Hmm. I thought she'd like the other one.
INT. CLOTHING STORE - DRESSING ROOM
COCO (V.O.)
Gamesmaster likes Lady?
GAMESMASTER (V.O.)
I do not have a crush on her, Coco!
LADY JAYE
Hey! What's going on? Get me out of here! Put me down! Get, get...open the door! What's happening?
INT. COBRA BASE - HOT TUB
GAMESMASTER (V.O.)
This is the Baroness, a brilliant and resourceful Cobra agent.
EXT. COBRA BASE - CEREMONY
GAMESMASTER (V.O.)
This is Cobra Commander. He craves power, but when he feels most powerful, he is most vulnerable.
DESTRO
I do not understand what satisfaction you derive from these vulgar processions.
DESTRO
Security forces!
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMMAND CENTER
GUNG-HO
It's not like Flint and Lady Jaye to blow town without tellin' us.
DUKE
I'm worried, real worried.
SCARLETT
Let's just come out and say it. They were....
EXT. COBRA BASE - CEREMONY
DESTRO
...Kidnapped. Our leader and the Baroness have been kidnapped?
ZARTAN
By whom, Destro? Perhaps by someone who wants to be the new Cobra leader, like yourself?
DESTRO
That is absurd. There is only one group who would dare this.
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMMAND CENTER
DUKE
Cobra! But they're not gonna get away with it!
EXT. COBRA BASE - CEREMONY
DESTRO
G. I. Joe will learn a bitter lesson. First, we must lure one of them into our hands, and then....
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - VILLA
INT. VILLA - NURSERY
FLINT
What the...
BARONESS
What is that horrible noise?
COBRA COMMANDER
Where am I?
LADY JAYE
Flint, am I glad to see you. But where are we?
GAMESMASTER (COMM.)
Good morning, players! I am the Gamesmaster.
INT. VILLA - GAME ROOM
GAMESMASTER
Welcome to my game. As there are no rules, it will be an easy game to learn. Hidden somewhere on this island is a one-man helicopter. The winner is the one who finds it and flies away.
INT. VILLA - NURSERY
FLINT
What happens to the losers?
INT. VILLA - GAME ROOM
GAMESMASTER
They die! Good luck, and have fun.
INT. VILLA - NURSERY
COBRA COMMANDER
Do you know who I am? You can't do this to me! I will make you suffer....
LADY JAYE
They're toys!
TOY SOLDIER
Ready...
COBRA COMMANDER
They're going to shoot!
TOY SOLDIER
Aim...
COBRA COMMANDER
Do something, somebody!
FLINT
Dive!
TOY SOLDIER
Fire!
FLINT
It's not toy ammo! Let's get outta here!
COBRA COMMANDER
Wait for me!
TOY SOLDIER
Fire!
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - VILLA
GAMESMASTER (V.O.)
I like games that begin with a bang!
COBRA COMMANDER
Silence! No one laughs at me! From here on, we go our separate ways!
FLINT
Hey, fine by me.
EXT. GREENLAND - DAY
ACE
Ace to Breaker. I'm on station over Greenland.
BREAKER (COMM.)
Roger. Keep an eye peeled. We hear Cobra's slitherin' around somewhere below you.
ACE
I'll find 'em.
SNOW SERPENT [Arthur Burghardt]
SkyStriker at four o'clock. Fire.
ACE
Third SkyStriker this month. Duke's not gonna be pleased.
ACE
Uh-oh. Okay guys, I get the message.
DESTRO
How kind of you to drop in, Ace. I have need of certain information from you.
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - FOREST
LADY JAYE
What kind of place is this, Flint?
FLINT
I don't know, Lady Jaye, but I smell candy. That looks like licorice on that tree, and marshmallows on that one. We're in a candy forest.
LADY JAYE
That can't be real!
FLINT
I think it is. I took a caramel apple.
LADY JAYE
Hmm. This look like bon bon berries.
FLINT
Look out!
LADY JAYE
Flint, help!
BARONESS
Cobra!
FLINT
Hold it, Baroness! I said, hold it!
BARONESS
Bigoted pig!
FLINT
You're good, Baroness...but I'm better!
LADY JAYE
Get me out of here! Im' sinking in caramel!
COBRA COMMANDER
Not caramel, butterscotch!
FLINT
What do we do now, Baroness? We can either save them or we can fight. There's no time to do both.
BARONESS
You get Lady Jaye out first, you might double team me. If I get the Commander out first, we will definitely jump you.
FLINT
I'll tell you what, Baroness: you'll just have to trust me. You save Lady Jaye, I'll save Cobra Commander.
COBRA COMMANDER
This is disgusting!
EXT. SWAMP - NIGHT
GUNG-HO
The coast is clear.
DUKE
Let's do it.
GUNG-HO
All right! Scarlett remembered to pack Baby!
INT. ZARTAN'S LAB
ZARTAN
No, don't shoot! Those vials are full of deadly swamp flu!
DUKE
Then talk fast, or we're all gonna need bed rest and plenty of Aspirin.
INT. VILLA - GAME ROOM
GAMESMASTER
Watch this, Coco. It's a real Hoho.
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - HILLS
FLINT
I'll lead us back into the villa and surprise the Gamesmaster.
COBRA COMMANDER
Very clever, Flint. How considerate of you. You set off the alarms, and we straggle behind to get captured.
FLINT
All right, you go first.
COBRA COMMANDER
And turn my back on you? How stupid do you think I am?
LADY JAYE
Have you got a better idea?
COBRA COMMANDER
Yes! We find the helicopter and I fly it to safety. I will immediately dispatch troops to rescue you.
BARONESS
Even I cannot swallow that one.
COBRA COMMANDER
Whose side are you on?
BARONESS
The same side you are on. My own.
COBRA COMMANDER
Look!
FLINT
Run for it!
COBRA COMMANDER
No! Help me! Help me!
LADY JAYE
Flint, no! It's too dangerous!
FLINT
I've got to try! G. I. Joe is dedicated to saving lives, even Cobra Commander's!
FLINT
Uh-oh. I think it worked.
LADY JAYE
Flint! Look out behind you!
LADY JAYE
Flint!
LADY JAYE
No!
LADY JAYE
This can't be happening!
GAMESMASTER (COMM.)
One down, three to go!
BARONESS
He was a good fighter, Lady Jaye. But think not of sorrow. Think of revenge--revenge upon that accursed Gamesmaster!
EXT. COBRA BASE - ENTRANCE
DESTRO (V.O.)
Tell me where G. I. Joe has taken Cobra Commander and the Baroness. I will resort to extreme measures.
INT. COBRA BASE - INTERROGATION ROOM
ACE
Listen up, chrome dome, we don't know where they are, so save yourself a lot of trouble and return Flint and Lady Jaye.
DESTRO
What are you talking about?
ACE
The Joes you kidnapped, remember?
DESTRO
You are testing my patience, Ace. What is it?
TELE-VIPER
Distress call from Swamp Lab Two. G. I. Joe agents have Zartan.
DESTRO
Let them keep him adn his germs.
TELE-VIPER
Will exchange hostages for Flint and the Lady Jaye.
DESTRO
What?
ACE
Son of a gun, you really didn't know!
INT. ZARTAN'S LAB
GUNG-HO
Say, I got a better idea, Duke. What if we only make Zartan sick?
DUKE
I've heard worse.
ZARTAN
What about my human rights?
GUNG-HO
Talk or drink!
ZARTAN
Shoot me! Anything! But don't give me that!
DUKE
Then where are Flint and Lady Jaye?
ZARTAN
Probably with Cobra Commander and the Baroness!
DUKE
Give him a swig.
DESTRO
Greetings, Joe Team. It seems that we have a problem in common.
DUKE
The only problem we have is you.
GUNG-HO
And you're pretty common!
DESTRO
Incorrect. Two of our agents and two of yours have been kidnapped, all apparently by a third party.
DUKE
No third party could pull it off.
DESTRO
There is no other logical explanation.
DUKE
How do you know?
DESTRO
First you must promise me your cooperation.
DUKE
Give me one good reason to trust you.
DESTRO
Cobra agents, drop your weapons.
DUKE
That's a good reason. All right. Give me the low down.
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - CEMETERY
FLINT
Hello, suckers!
FLINT
Rust in peace.
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - JUNGLE
COBRA COMMANDER (mumbling)
An organization of ten thousand men and I'm stuck in the jungle! I can't stand....
BARONESS
Look!
LADY JAYE
The helicopter!
COBRA COMMANDER
At last! I will fly to the nearest island and send help when I arrive.
LADY JAYE
You don't mean you'd leave two defenseless women to fend for themselves?
COBRA COMMANDER
Yes!
BARONESS
/line missing; no audio on tape/
LADY JAYE
I'll settle it. I'll take the copter!
BARONESS
Better you than him!
INT. VILLA - GAME ROOM
GAMESMASTER
If there's one thing I hate, it is mowing the lawn.
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - JUNGLE
GAMESMASTER (V.O.)
I hate lawnmowers!
INT. VILLA - GAME ROOM
GAMESMASTER
Mow, mow, mow them down! Chop them as they run! Whirlily, whirlily, whirlily, whirlily! I'm having so much fun!
GAMESMASTER
What is so funny, Coco? I haven't heard you laugh in so long!
FLINT
Now we're playing my game. Turn it off, or get hurt.
FLINT
Uh-oh.
GAMESMASTER
You cheat! You cheat!
FLINT
Lady Jaye!
GAMESMASTER
You cheated! I'm gonna tell on you!
FLINT
Flint to Joe Team!
EXT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - DAY
INT. JOE HEADQUARTERS - COMMAND CENTER
BREAKER
Hey, listen to this, guys!
FLINT (COMM.)
I don't know where I am, so trace this broadcast. Some guy named the Gamesmaster has managed somehow to...
BREAKER
Flint, this is Breaker! Come in! Aw, it's dead! But I zeroed in on his position.
DUKE
Good. Alert Cobra and dispatch a strike team.
GUNG-HO
You really want us to tell Cobra?
DUKE
No, but a deal's a deal.
INT. VILLA - GAME ROOM
GAMESMASTER
More players! Yippee! All I have to do is activate the island defenses and watch the fun!
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - COAST
ACE
Will you look at that?
ACE
Whoa!
ACE
Let's give 'em a trip to Davy Jones' locker! I'm headin' in!
DUKE
Every time you do that, Ace, it gets expensive.
DUKE
Time to shut down the missile works!
DESTRO
Agreed.
ZARTAN
You're good!
SCARLETT
The competition keeps us in shape.
INT. VILLA - GAME ROOM
GAMESMASTER
My water rocket defense is finished! My ships are sunk, and my troops are in trouble! All my toys are broken, and it's your fault!
GAMESMASTER
Nya, nya! Ya can't catch me!
FLINT
Look out!
ROBOTS
Punish them! Punish them! Punish them!, etc.
DUKE
Now, where's this Gamesmaster character?
FLINT
He went through there.
DUKE
Come on!
DESTRO
Where is Cobra Commander?
FLINT
Knee deep in a marshmallow swamp.
DESTRO
Is that your idea of a joke?
FLINT
Okay, look for yourself.
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - VILLA
GAMESMASTER
There will be another game, Joe and Cobra. And next time, I will win!
EXT. GAMESMASTER'S ISLAND - BATTLEFIELD
COBRA COMMANDER
Look at us! It is a pity we could not combine our forces! Imagine the power we could have!
FLINT
You think so? We almost got greased by toy soldiers.
COBRA COMMANDER
I've had enough of your sarcasm for one day. Go! Get out of here!
FLINT
Okay. We'll be goin'.
COBRA COMMANDER
Oh, very clever, Flint. How considerate of you! You'll take off, then circle back and destroy our planes on the ground!
FLINT
Then you go first.
COBRA COMMANDER
And turn our backs to you? How stupid do you think I am?
LADY JAYE
Look, have you got a better idea?