JUNGLE TRAP

EXT. INDIAN CITY - MARKETPLACE
RECONDO
The savagery of the jungle mixed with the excitement of the city. Where else but India?
SCARLETT
Too bad we don't have time to go sight-seeing, but we've got to make contact with Dr. Shakur.
RECONDO
You gotta admire Shakur. It isn't every man who'd pass up the millions Cobra offered for his inventions.
ROCK 'N ROLL
I think I see the man we're here to meet, red umbrella and all.
DUKE
Does that umbrella protect you from the sun?
DR. SHAKUR [Stan Jones?]
In this part of the world, the sun stings, like a snake.
DUKE
Or a cobra. First Sergeant Hauser, G. I. Joe. My friends call me Duke.
RECONDO
Recondo at your service, Doctor.
SCARLETT
Scarlett.
ROCK 'N ROLL
Rock 'n Roll. Hiya.
SCARLETT
I've heard about your experiments to harness the power of molten lava with the Vulcan Machine. I'm impressed, Doctor.
DR. SHAKUR
Thank you. Unfortunately, so is Cobra. It would be a great disaster if my work fell into their hands.
DUKE
Then we'll take you where those snakes can't find you.
COBRA COMMANDER
Well, Zartan, have you located Dr. Shakur yet?
ZARTAN
Yes, but so has G. I. Joe.
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - CONTROL ROOM
ZARTAN
Not to worry, though, Commander. I have a special surprise waiting for them.
COBRA COMMANDER
Excellent. Proceed at once.
EXT. INDIAN CITY - DAY
COBRAS
Cobra!
DUKE
It's a trap! Scarlett, get the doc to safety! Yo Joe!
SCARLETT
In there!
COBRA OFFICER [Michael Bell?]
We've got what we came for. Cobra!
DUKE
Scarlett! Scarlett?
SCARLETT
Where's the doc?
RECONDO
Cobra's got him. And they're headin' for the river.
DUKE
Come on! We'll never get there in time.
ZARTAN
This alley! It's a short cut!
DUKE
Thanks, friend.
ZARTAN
Don't mention it...friend.
SCARLETT
Oh-oh. Cobra HISS tanks.
ZARTAN
Hahahahahahahahahahaha! All too easy. There's no place to run, Joes!
DUKE
Zartan!
BUZZER
And don't forget us.
DUKE
Way to go, Snake-Eyes.
ZARTAN
Get them, you witless oafs!
ZARTAN
Blast them!
DUKE
Hit the dirt!
DREADNOKS
Oh, no!
ZARTAN
Get them!
ROCK 'N ROLL
Outta sight! Let's clean 'em up!
DUKE
They can wait. We've got to rescue Shakur!
ZARTAN
Get up and fight, you fools!
TORCH
We can't move, Zartan!
EXT. INDIAN CITY - RIVERSIDE
COBRA OFFICER
Hurry, the Joes are coming! Cobra!
SCARLETT
They got away.
DUKE
Those snakes must have a base nearby. But where?
RECONDO
I think I know. Come on, I'll explain it in the APC.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
RECONDO
While traveling through the northern jungles, I heard the narives tell of a mysterious snake cult that's taken over an ancient temple on the river. Here.
RECONDO
I'd bet my bush hat that's where Cobra's holed up.
DUKE
What's the best way in?
RECONDO
On foot it's three days through the most dangerous jungle in India. It's hot, snake-infested, and wild. So we'd better go in by air.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
SCARLETT
I've picked up a coded message.
DUKE
Home in on the signal. It'll lead us straight to Cobra. Wild Bill, you and Rip Cord follow us.
WILD BILL
You got it, leader man. Yo Joe!
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - DAY
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - THRONE ROOM
COBRA COMMANDER
Welcome, Dr. Shakur. I apologize for our somewhat demanding hospitality, but I've so long wanted to meet you.
DR. SHAKUR
Who are you?
COBRA COMMANDER
I am the supreme commander of Cobra. You may bow, if you wish.
ZARTAN
The doctor needs a lesson in manners.
COBRA COMMANDER
Easy, Zartan. That's no way to treat our new ally.
DR. SHAKUR
I'll never work for you. I....
ZARTAN
Hail, Cobra Commander.
DR. SHAKUR
Hail, Cobra Commander.
COBRA COMMANDER
You're a fast learner, Dr. Shakur. I like that.
CRIMSON GUARD (COMM.)
Cobra Commander, our scanners show three G. I. Joe Dragonflies moving toward this area.
COBRA COMMANDER
Predictable. Prepare to greet them...warmly.
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - DAY
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
SCARLETT
I'm picking up something. Cobra FANGs! They're coming in fast.
DUKE
Wild Bill, do you see anything?
WILD BILL
Roger. There's five of those varmints out there.
DUKE
Let's take them!
JOES
Yo Joe!
SCARLETT
Duke, are you all right?
DUKE
Yeah, thanks to your sharpshooting, Scarlett. Yo Joe!
DUKE
Uh-oh. Reinforcements. They're trying to box us in. Split up and return to base!
WILD BILL
I copy, Duke. But I sure hope you're lookin' for a return engagement.
COBRAS
Cobra!
ROCK 'N ROLL
We're hit!
SCARLETT
Duke!
SCARLETT
Duke, can you read me? Duke!
SCARLETT
Can't control it!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - CONTROL ROOM
COBRA COMMANDER
Glorious! Simply glorious!
COBRA OFFICER
There's no way they could've survived that crash.
COBRA COMMANDER
Perhaps.
ZARTAN
The doctor simply can't wait to get started. He's become so cooperative.
COBRA COMMANDER
Excellent.
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - LAB
COBRA COMMANDER
Here are the components you requested. My troops are ready to assist you in building the Vulcan Machine.
ZARTAN
And what's this Vulcan Machine supposed to do?
COBRA COMMANDER
If any country is foolish enough to resist Cobra, the Vulcan Machine will unleash a torrent of boiling lava from the Earth's core, reducing its largest city to charred ruin.
COBRA COMMANDER
And now, my dear doctor, to work. We mustn't keep the world waiting for my ultimatum.
DR. SHAKUR
As you wish, Cobra Commander.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAWN
DUKE
How are you doing, Rock 'n Roll?
ROCK 'N ROLL
Okay, I guess. I feel like a just took a tidal wave without my surfboard.
DUKE
Snake-Eyes? Scarlett?
SCARLETT
We're here, Duke.
DUKE
Where's Recondo?
RECONDO
Right where I should be, cuttin' a path to get us out of this jungle.
DUKE
What's our position?
RECONDO
Well, if we head due north, we'll reach the Cobra base in twenty-four hours.
ROCK 'N ROLL
Twenty-four hours? Through that?
RECONDO
Just stay together and follow me. It'll be like a walk through the park.
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - CONTROL ROOM
ZARTAN
It looks like the FANGs did not complete their mission, Commander.
COBRA COMMANDER
Yes, and I anticipated that possibility. My jungle traps will make their journey quite interesting.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
ROCK 'N ROLL
If I never see another vine again, it'll be too soon.
RECONDO
The jungle's not so bad, Rock 'n Roll. You just have to know how to deal with.
SCARLETT
Now what? I'm caught on something.
RECONDO
No, don't!
ROCK 'N ROLL
Hey, are you guys okay?
RECONDO
Rock 'n Roll, watch out!
ROCK 'N ROLL
Three guesses who left that little surprise.
DUKE
This whole area is filled with Cobra traps.
DUKE
A rhino!
DUKE
I hate to do this, but it's either us or that beast. Rock 'n Roll,...
RECONDO
No! There's another way.
RECONDO
Just tryin' to get your attention, gorgeous.
ROCK 'N ROLL
That dude's crazy!
DUKE
No, I think I know what he's got in mind.
RECONDO
That's it, baby. Come to papa.
RECONDO
He'll settle down once he's had his mud bath.
ROCK 'N ROLL
I'm glad I didn't have to stop him my way.
RECONDO
All right, let's go. Keep a sharp lookout for more Cobra traps.
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - CONTROL ROOM
COBRA COMMANDER
Ah, the sensors indicate that our laser trap has been activated.
COBRA COMMANDER
Behold, Zartan. The smoldering finish of our enemy!
ZARTAN
Look again, Commander.
COBRA COMMANDER
They must lead charmed lives! But their good fortune comes to an end now!
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - CONTROL ROOM
ZARTAN
Striped hyenas, very deadly. My compliments, Cobra Commander.
COBRA COMMANDER
Thank you. Now, let's check on Dr. Shakur's progress. Come, we leave my pets to eat in peace.
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - LAB
EXT. JUNGLE - DAY
SCARLETT
What's that?
RECONDO
Hyenas, and they're on our trail.
ROCK 'N ROLL
I'm ready for 'em.
RECONDO
When you stop to blow one away, three more'll tear you down. We'll have to lose 'em.
DUKE
I'll cover us. Let's move it.
RECONDO
There's a river ahead! We'll lose 'em on the other side!
DUKE
This'll scare 'em off.
SCARLETT
Come on!
DUKE
Right behind you, Scarlett!
SCARLETT
Snake-Eyes, wait!
DUKE
Snake-Eyes, go back! That's an order!
DUKE
I told you to go back. You deliberately disobeyed an order! But...if you don't say anything, I won't either.
COPPERHEAD (O.C.)
Hold it right there!
COPPERHEAD
Well, well. It looks like what we got here is a couple o' G. I. jungle rats. The only thing a rat's good for is target practice. Ready, aim,...
RECONDO
Yo Joe!
DUKE
Come on, let's join this pool party!
SCARLETT
Move it, you snakes.
DUKE
Don't worry. We're just gonna borrow your uniforms and your pilot here to pay a nice little visit to Cobra Commander.
COPPERHEAD
You all won't get away with this.
RECONDO
Now why don't you be a good little snake and get this tub movin'.
ROCK 'N ROLL
Adios!
SCARLETT
Have a nice walk home!
SCARLETT
I hope you don't mind pretending to be our prisoner. It'll give us a better chance of sneaking in.
EXT. JUNGLE - RIVER
RECONDO
How much farther, poison breath?
COPPERHEAD
Oh, you're just achin' to get blown away, ain't you, chump? Well that's okay, because here we are!
RECONDO
Thanks. We'll take it from here.
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - RIVERSIDE
COBRA OFFICER
What happened to Copperhead?
DUKE
Sleeping sickness. He picked it up in the jungle. Be careful, it's catching.
COBRA OFFICER
Well, then take your prisoner and report to the infirmary before you contaminate the whole base!
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - LAB
DR. SHAKUR
Project Vulcan is finished, master.
COBRA COMMANDER
Excellent, Dr. Shakur!
ZARTAN
One moment. How do we know this thing will work?
COBRA COMMANDER
We'll test it, of course. Once the people of the world see a city reduced to a flaming lava pit, they'll have no choice but to submit to Cobra.
COBRA COMMANDER
Now, which city shall we use as our test site? Paris? New York? Moscow? Los Angeles!
ROCK 'N ROLL
LA? No way some creep's gonna ace my hometown.
DUKE
You said it. Let's stomp these snakes now.
JOES
Yo Joe!
COBRA COMMANDER
What? It's not possible!
ZARTAN
Quickly! We'll use the doctor as a shield!
SCARLETT
Oh no you don't, freak face!
ZARTAN
The light!
ZARTAN
I'm getting out of here!
ROCK 'N ROLL
This way, doc!
DUKE
And now for the big man himself!
COBRA COMMANDER
Fool! This attack has gained you nothing! I still control the Vulcan Machine! Surrender or the entire United States dies now!
DUKE
Surrender, my grandmother!
COBRA COMMANDER
No!
DR. SHAKUR
The Vulcan Machine is using its remaining power to activate the lava under this temple!
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE
INT. COBRA TEMPLE - CORRIDORS
COBRA COMMANDER
Retreat! Cobra!
EXT. COBRA TEMPLE - RIVERSIDE
ZARTAN
The light!
COPPERHEAD
What's goin' on here?
DUKE
Sorry, pal. We're in a hurry, and all the dead weight has to go!
COBRA COMMANDER
G. I. Joe will suffer for this. I, Cobra Commander, swear it!
EXT. JUNGLE - RIVER
ROCK 'N ROLL
Awesome.
WILD BILL
Hold it right there, you snakes!
WILD BILL
Take it easy, Wild Bill! It's us!
RIP CORD
Hey, what happened up there?
WILD BILL
You wranglers had me mighty worried.
ROCK 'N ROLL
Well, first we ditched the rhino that was chasing us. Then Snake-Eyes trashed a pack of hyenas. And then after that....
RIP CORD AND WILD BILL
Huh?
WILD BILL
I get the feelin' this is gonna be one whopper of a story.
DUKE
Wild Bill, you don't know the half of it.
ROCK 'N ROLL
Anyway, after the hyena attack,....