COBRA'S CANDIDATE

EXT. CITY - DAY
ROBERT HARPER [Michael Bell] (V.O.)
Elect me your mayor, and I, Robert Harper, will bring law and order back to our great city.
ROGUE
Try 'n catch me, Mr. Law and Order!
EXT. CITY - HOUSE
CITIZEN
Yeah?
RICK [Neil Ross?]
Who you votin' for tomorrow?
CITIZEN
What? Who are you? What business is it of yours?
RICK
I'm Rick. That's Pelar. We're takin' a poll, man. Who are you votin' for?
CITIZEN
Uh, Harper! I'm for Robert Harper!
RICK
Wrong!
PELAR VASQUEZ [B. J. Ward?]
You man is Whittier Greenway, if you know what's good for you! You understand?
EXT. CITY - PARK RALLY
HARPER
And that's why I appear here on this platform this afternoon.
HARPER
Mr. Greenway's supporters...don't like what I have to say.
ROGUE [Francois Chau?]
Who does?
HARPER SUPPORTER [B. J. Ward]
Quiet! We can't hear him speak!
ROGUE
That's 'cause he's talkin' with his mouth full!
CITY HIGHWAY - DAY
COL. SHARP (COMM.)
Street gangs are running wild. The police can't control the situation, so the President's asked me to send in a unit of Joes.
SCARLETT
We're a handful, not a unit, Colonel Sharp.
COL. SHARP (COMM.)
This isn't a full-scale assault, Scarlett.
LADY JAYE
I hope the enemy knows that.
COL. SHARP (COMM.)
The "enemy," Lady Jaye, is barely old enough to vote. All of you, keep your heads about you. Understood?
EXT. CITY - PARK RALLY
HARPER
Please! Listen to reason!
PELAR
We've listened enough, Mr. Law and Order!
ROGUE
Hey! Get off me!
EXT. CITY - ALLEY
SCARLETT
Aw, terrific. Now we get to play hide-and-go-seek.
SCARLETT
The bird has the word. Up we go!
EXT. CITY - ROOFS
PELAR
They're coming! Fast!
BUZZER
Looks like we don't get the day off after all. The blue jean brigade blew it, mates. We got us some Joes to wreck.
LADY JAYE
The Dreadnoks!
SCARLETT
Then Cobra's mixed up in....
TORCH
G'day, Joes!
BUZZER
Well, what're you waitin' for? Get down there 'n see if there's any pris'ners.
BUZZER
And now for you ladies. Goodbye to you, too!
SCARLETT
Grab on!
INT. BUILDING - APARTMENT
SCARLETT
Uh, we'll pay for the window, Mister. Honest.
EXT. CITY - STREET
LADY JAYE
Where could they go so quickly?
SCARLETT
Beats me, but we've got to start somewhere. Let's scout the scene back at the park.
EXT. CITY - PARK
HARPER
Someone, please help me!
HARPER
Thank you, thank you very much. And you as well.
LADY JAYE
Just doing our job, Mr. Harper. Come on. Let's all get out of here.
INT. SUBWAY TUNNEL
ZAP
So, how's it feel, Pelar, bein' a two-bit toady to Cobra? Just like the....
PELAR
It feels okay! We beat G. I. Joe, didn't we?
BUZZER
Like snorkelfish you did! We caught 'em.
RIPPER
Yes, love, if you'd done it right we wouldn't've had to show ourselves yet.
TORCH
You was paid to do a job and you bollixed it up good, you did. Two Joeys got away. We oughta get a refund from your pay packets, we should.
PELAR
We don't gotta take this!
RIPPER
Is that right now? You'll do what we say and like it. That's what you're paid for.
BUZZER
And the first thing you're gonna do, mates, is...GET THEM PRIS'NERS BACK!
TORCH
That'll be far enough. And if you mates keep runnin', your friend here'll sizzle like a French fry!
BUZZER
Right this way, folks. We've got a cozy little suite just waiting for you. Let's go, Yo Joey.
EXT. CITY - ENTERPRISE TOWER
HARPER
You two have been more than kind, but I'm late for a meeting with my advisors. So I hope you'll excuse my haste....
LADY JAYE
Of course. Why don't we just wait out here in case anyone followed us and wants to make trouble.
HARPER
Really, that won't be necessary.
LADY JAYE
I hope, you're right, Mr. Harper.
INT. ENTERPRISE TOWER - HEAD OFFICE
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(X) You look like something the cats (T) declined to drag in. (T and X) Congratulations.
HARPER
Thank you, Xamot. Tomax. Um, congratulations for...for what?
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(T) You will see (X) and hear (T) in a moment.
COBRA COMMANDER
Congratulaitons, Mr. Harper, or should I say, Mr. Mayor. You have a commanding lead in the polls.
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(X) You're a shoe-in (T) to be elected.
HARPER
Yes, and all these street gang attacks have brought the G. I. Joes to my side. They're protecting me.
COBRA COMMANDER
What? G. I. Joe on the side of Cobra? How delicious.
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(X) The world's greatest champions of law and order are behind (T) you, a law and order candidate. Who could ask for any- (X) thing more?
EXT. CITY - ENTERPRISE TOWER
LADY JAYE
Why are we doing this? You know I'm not crazy about heights.
SCARLETT
We need to know why Cobra's mixed up in this election. These cords are never long enough.
SCARLETT
And I've got a hunch some of the answers might be up there.
LADY JAYE
I'm not crazy about your hunches, either.
INT. ENTERPRISE TOWER - HEAD OFFICE
COBRA COMMANDER
With you on our side, Mr. Harper, we can attain our goals by simply making them laws.
SCARLETT
This is worse than any hunch I had. Sounds like Cobra's financing Harper's campaign.
LADY JAYE
Listen!
HARPER
But what about the street gangs?
COBRA COMMANDER
The street gangs are Cobra's pawns, Mr. Harper.
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(X) They think we really want (T) Whittier Greenway to win. It makes their hatred of you (X) more real. And their attacks on you (T) have swung the voters over to your side.
COBRA COMMANDER
Simply arrest them once you take office. You'll be keeping your campaign promise.
LADY JAYE
The only way we can stop this is to tell the gangs what's going on.
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(T) Uh, pardon us. (X) We have some important business we (T and X) must attend to.
EXT. CITY - ENTERPRISE TOWER
TOMAX
Goodbye, Ladies.
LADY JAYE
The first cord!
LADY JAYE
Not again.
TOMAX
Xamot! They hit Xamot!
SCARLETT
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
LADY JAYE
Now if we could just get one gang leader to listen to the truth....
SCARLETT
And make him believe it.
INT. SECRET TUNNEL
BUZZER
Hello, what's this? Reinforcements now that the battle's over?
STORM SHADOW
Not until you have read this message.
BUZZER
Aw, come on, mates. Cobra Commander knows I can't read.
STORM SHADOW
To ensure victory, the final rally will include some special fireworks developed by Firefly. The plan is going well. Take care not to fail. Zartan.
BUZZER
Rubbish! This here's the only insurance against failure. Tonight's the big night. So here. Take off and get some rest.
RICK
Hey, come on! Let's party!
RIPPER
We're gonna take off, too. You guys watch them Joes. Make sure they stay put.
TORCH
Not that they're goin' anywhere, mind you.
STORM SHADOW
Failure will be costly.
EXT. CITY - NIGHT
LADY JAYE
We need a meeting with the gang leader. It's imperative, life and death.
GANG MEMBER
Whose life and death? Not mine.
TITO VASQUEZ [Mary McDonald-Lewis?]
I know one of the gang leaders.
SCARLETT
Who are you?
LADY JAYE
Who cares who he is? Take us to him.
TITO
Her. And what do I get if I help you? I got my future to think of. I'm ten already.
LADY JAYE
Wanna see eleven, kid?
TITO
Hey, you're tough. Okay. Twenty bucks and I'll take you to Pelar Vasquez. But first I wanna know what you want with her.
LADY JAYE
Why, you little....
TITO
She's my sister. I gotta look out for her. Let me hold your weapons 'til after the meeting.
LADY JAYE
That's out of the question. We'll have to find her ourselves.
TITO
I guess you could try.
SCARLETT
Yeah, and we'll be searching 'til next Mother's Day. There's no choice, Lady Jaye.
TITO
Thanks. Right this way.
LADY JAYE
It better be.
INT. MOM'S CANDY & SODA FOUNTAIN
TITO
Right in here, ladies. Take good care of 'em, Mama. I'll be right out.
MRS. VASQUEZ
Have you come to arrest my Pelar?
SCARLETT
We're not police, Mrs. Vasquez.
MRS. VASQUEZ
She is really a good girl, deep down. Sometimes so deep you can't find it, though.
TITO (O.C.)
But Pelar, they paid money!
PELAR (O.C.)
Money you had no right to take!
PELAR
My brother Tito says you paid to talk to me. Talk fast!
LADY JAYE
Okay, sister, how's this? You and your gang have been had. Cobra's using you to help Harper get elected. And once Harper's in, you and your pals get the royal dump, right into jail. Is that fast enough?
PELAR
You lie!
MRS. VASQUEZ
How do you know? Just listen for once, Pelar.
PELAR
Cobra protects us, gives us money! You want to take it away, that's all. Why...why should I believe you?
ROGUE [Neil Ross?]
I think this little conversation's gone on long enough.
MRS. VASQUEZ
Oh...oh, no.
EXT. MOM'S CANDY & SODA FOUNTAIN
PELAR
Enough! I'll finish this.
SCARLETT
Too bad we have to keep pulling our punches with these punks.
LADY JAYE
Yeah, well don't forget, they're just kids.
LADY JAYE
Take us up! We've still got three Joes, a bird, and a wolf among the missing!
INT. SECRET TUNNEL
ZAP
You Cobras aren't ambitious enough. Why limit yourself to fixing elections? Why not the World Series, too?
CRIMSON GUARD
Silence! Got that?
EXT. CITY - NIGHT
WILD BILL
Did you see that? I'm a-headin' that-a-way, pardners.
INT. SECRET TUNNEL
CRIMSON GUARD
No, don't shoot!
QUICK KICK, LADY JAYE, AND SCARLETT
Yo Joe!
ZAP AND SPIRIT
Yo Joe!
CRIMSON GUARD
That's enough for me!
LADY JAYE
Let him go, Timber. Let 'em all go.
ZAP
My friend is a man of action, not words. So you better talk to me before he twists you into the world's first snake-flavored pretzel. I want the plan for Cobra's final assault.
ZAP
Talk!
CRIMSON GUARD
Political rally...at the pier...blow up the whole wharf.
EXT. RIVER - NIGHT
FIREFLY
I've planned for all possibilities. Would you like to see our G. I. Joe insurance?
ZARTAN
But of course.
FIREFLY
Each explosive will be planted at a different empty warehouse around the pier. And with this, I can blow it all at once or in any combination I choose.
ZARTAN
Interesting little device, Firefly.
FIREFLY
There's nothing little about it, swamp breath. You'll see. I'll plant the bombs myself. That way there'll be no foul-ups.
EXT. PIER - NIGHT
HARPER
My administration will clean up the streets. We will make it safe for you to walk at night once more.
PELAR
You haven't got a chance!
TITO
You're nothing!
PELAR
Tito! What are you doing here?
TITO
I wanted to help.
PELAR
You shouldn't have come! You must go home!
TITO
Look, I'm old enough to stay here, and I'm big enough to fight, too!
RICK
Big man! A little baby like you should be home with his mama.
PELAR
Stop laughing, you goons!
TITO
Who wants to be in your dumb gang, anyway?
PELAR
I hope you jokers are happy.
RICK
Ah, what's the difference. We got rid of him, didn't we? Anyway, check this out.
HARPER
This country will remain free only if law and order....
SCARLETT
Looks like Harper needs our help again.
WILD BILL
Yo Joe.
EXT. RIVER - NIGHT
ZARTAN
G. I. Joe! Right on schedule! Detonate the buildings.
INT. WAREHOUSE
TITO
I'll show 'em. I'll start my own gang. And I won't let them join.
EXT. PIER - NIGHT
TITO (O.C.)
Help, Pelar! Help!
PELAR
Tito? That's my brother!
RIPPER
Where you goin'?
PELAR
My brother, I gotta save him!
RIPPER
The only thing you've got to do is what you're bein' paid to do: scare people off!
EXT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT
ZAP
Scarlett's goin' in after Pelar!
EXT. PIER - NIGHT
LADY JAYE
Pick on a lady your own size, Dread head!
BUZZER
Don't fret, mate. We can take her.
BUZZER
Can't we, mates...? Can't we?
ROGUE [Michael Bell?]
You tried to stop Pelar from saving her little brother.
RICK
We don't wanna be your flunkies anymore, man.
BUZZER
Uh, let's go, mates.
EXT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT
LADY JAYE
Come on, Scarlett!
LADY JAYE
Thank heavens.
GANG
All right, Pelar! Way to go!, etc.
FIREMAN
Let's get this thing under control before it spreads!
PELAR
My brother!
EXT. PIER - NIGHT
ZARTAN
This cannot be!
FIREFLY
But it is. We'd better get outta here!
HARPER
Wait for me! Don't leave!
CITIZEN
Look! Cobra's rescuing Harper! Harper's a Cobra!
EXT. RIVER - NIGHT
HARPER
Thank you for waiting for me.
ZARTAN
Cobra does not reward failure, worm!
CUTTER
Welcome aboard, Mr. Harper. I'm not sure you can vote for yourself in jail. We'll have to ask a judge.
EXT. CITY - CAFE
INT. CAFE
REPORTER
So Harper's alleged association with Cobra fatally damaged his campaingn. And with ninety-eight percent of the vote in, it's Greenway over Harper by the greatest landslide in history.
PELAR
I wonder who cast the two votes?
MRS. VASQUEZ
His mother?
LADY JAYE
His wife?
INT. ENTERPRISE TOWER - HEAD OFFICE
TOMAX AND XAMOT
(T) I hate it when we (X) back a loser. (T and X) So do I.